I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
