He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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