Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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