The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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