I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
