I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
