Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
