Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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