Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
