I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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