I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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