Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize