i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
