Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
