This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
