Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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