I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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