He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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