I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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