Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
