What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
