Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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