so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Randomize