You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
