i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
