He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
