69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
