Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
