So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
