I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
