You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
