So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
