You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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