C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
