Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
