Someone shit on the floor
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
