did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
