You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Randomize
