It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
