I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize
