I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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