oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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