sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
