His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
