her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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