The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
