I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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