with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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