It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
this is an emotional support booty call
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize