Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
