that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
