thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I think my vagina is haunted
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
