Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I just googled if crying burns calories
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
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