You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
