Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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