Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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