NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
