Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
