Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
