it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
